Thursday, December 24, 2009
Merry Christmas
In a few hours, we'll rip through the presents under the tree (we're supposed to travel to visit family tomorrow) and the quiet will give way to the happy celebration of a family blessed beyond measure.
But now, for a precious few minutes, I have time to think about the blessings of this day and this celebration- a happy, healthy family; a warm and safe home to protect us from the elements; good friends with whom we journey together through this life.
I am especially thankful for a Savior, born as a baby, who changed the world. My world. Your world, too, if you let Him. I am thankful for grace, forgiveness, and second chances; for hope and a future.
For coffee and a warm bed. I've decided to pile back in. The day will start soon enough.
Monday, October 12, 2009
On the Necessity of Alarm Clocks
We set a time and place to meet in the squirrel woods across the road from my house, and up the road from his. We wanted to hunt early, while the squirrels were most active, so we decided to meet at first light at the big oak that stood at the center of that part of the woods. We knew it to be a den tree, and to contain more than one family of squirrels.
Active imagination and youthful anticipation kept sleep at bay, so I got up early and dressed. I packed a lunch and my hunting vest and took out, still too dark to see anything but the stars still twinkling overhead. The walk to the big oak was less than a half mile from the house, but I just couldn't wait at home, so I decided to walk on over, and just wait for Roger at the tree.
Down the drive, maybe 100 yards east down the gravel road, then north in the neighbor's drive. I would follow that drive up to the creek, then head west to the wood line. I followed the wood line north through a pasture, then a grassy opening, until I arrived at the small opening that led to the big oak.
It was still dark when I arrived at the opening, and even darker inside the wood beneath the fall canopy that had not yet fallen. I decided to sit at the base of a small cottonwood and wait for dawn. I sat on my vest, and cradled the Browning between my knees, barrel straight up.
When I awoke, the sun was up and Roger was yelling for me. He hadn't seen me, nor I him. As sleep faded and the haziness turned to sharp focus, I saw them. Hundreds. Thousands. Hundreds of thousands...
In the wee hours of that morning, some kind of spider invasion had happened while I slept. Garden spiders were everywhere, as far as I could see. They were on my boots; my pants; a web was under construction between the cottonwood and my gun barrel. Above my head.
I jumped up, dropped the Browning, and brushed my clothes. No, I beat my clothes as if I were on fire while screaming like a schoolgirl.
When I was sure that I was not about to die from spider poison, and that arachnids had not taken residence in my hair or laid eggs in my inner ears, I stopped to evaluate.
Vest, gone. Stripped when I realized I was not on fire and that it had lots of pockets.
Jacket, gone. Again, pockets.
Hat, gone. I used it for a while to beat the spiders to death. Lost it while running and screaming like a schoolgirl.
Shotgun-
Dang... it was still in the twilight zone.... on the ground.... Dad would not be pleased.
It took a few minutes to gather my wits and return to the meadow and retrieve my hunting clothes and gun. Carefully, I picked up a dead tree limb to use in defense against the marauding spiders. A very long tree limb.
Eventually I gathered my clothes and my gun, and met Roger under the tree. He had heard me screaming, but did not see the garden of spiders. I don't think he believed me, either.
I was too busy looking toward the ground.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
You and Me
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Speaking in Tongues
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Joy in the Morning
Friday, September 18, 2009
Birthdays, Memories, and Hope
Sunday, August 23, 2009
The Power of A Worshipper
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
For Better or Worse
I am proud to have an Uncle (who shall remain nameless; even though all my family will immediately know to whom I refer, I did not ask his permission to share this tale, and so anonymity will be enforced).
Growing up in West Tennessee in the '70's, my family didn't take many trips, but we did visit family. There was lots of family to visit, and we had such great fun! We often visited an aunt and uncle and cousins in the next town North of ours, where we shared watermelon, cantaloupe, and heated games of Rook and Dominos.
My uncle and aunt, as many spouses do, had some difficult years early on, including a time of separation. But once reconciliation was reached, they were reunited and our frequent visits continued.
As time passed, and we grew up and moved away, my aunt began to lose the strength of her health, and has now required the constant care of a caregiver for quite some time. My uncle and hischildren (my cousins), all take turns with compassion and great patience to care for her many needs. Feeding, bathing, cleaning, this once vibrant lady has become a choice, not a chore. Loving hands care for her needs; a gentle voice maintains a single-sided conversation when she is not able to speak. Great pains and an even greater amount of time and compassion are required to meet her needs.
And my uncle is no spring chicken, himself. We had become concerned with his own health while lovingly caring for his bride. My dad had even spoken with him about placing her in a home where she could receive round-the-clock care. It seemed evident that it was time to relinquish that amount of care to the professionals at the nursing home, and to give my uncle some rest.
So, eventually, the decision was made to place my aunt in a nursing facility nearby. A visit was made, paperwork completed, and a room secured.
Yet the compassionate heart of my uncle for his bride made him reluctant to complete the deal. His head told him it was best; his heart said no.
While I was "working the road" with my dad one hot summer afternoon, my uncle drove up. He bounded out of his car, and with a grin as wide as the Tennessee border, told us he had made a decision about his wife.
Dad was glad that she was going where she could receive care she needed, and his brother could rest from all that work.
I will forever remember the words my uncle spoke that afternoon: "I have decided that she will stay at home. I called the nursing home and put the whole deal on hold. She doesn't want to go, and realized that I don't mind the time and work it takes to take care of her.
She is staying with me, and I can't be more proud of my decision".
Still today, my uncle cares for his bride. Daily, often hourly changes of clothing and bedding; one-sided conversations about this and that; and a stubborn commitment to "for better or worse".
That situation still may, in the future, necessitate a move to the nursing home. But my uncle can always say that he has done all he could to care for his wife. He took no short cuts, no conveniences on his behalf.
And while my aunt may not know of his commitment on this side of eternity, I see it.
I see it.
Thanks, Uncle.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
It's Not Your Fault!
A young lady was advertising her credit counseling business, and her tag line, spouted 6 times in her 29 second epic, is "It's Not Your Fault!". Over and again, she tried to sell us poor insomniacs on the idea that our financial situation is not our fault- the blame lies somewhere else- the economy; our bosses; the government.
While I will agree that the downturn in our current economy has wreaked all kinds of wickedness on all kinds of good people, the honest truth is, we are responsible for our own financial, social, economic, physical, and spiritual situation. That's right- as Jimmy Buffet sings, "it might be my fault..".
Let's be frank. We must train our children, our neighbor's children and our community's children to prepare for their own futures. We have lost the importance of spending less than we make; of saving for a rainy day; and planning for our lives and our children's lives. As a matter of fact, I am really weary of our government telling us that we deserve all that... and the government will provide it for us! Have we forgotten where the government gets its money? Have we become that lazy and arrogant? Say it ain't so!
No matter how success is defined, there are no entitlements to it. Some good folks work really hard to scratch out a meager living; others use gifts and talents and skills to earn more than they can realistically use. Either way, they have earned it. It is theirs.
The rub comes in planning for the proverbial rainy day; and it will come. And rainy days are not the fault of the previous administration in the White House; neither are they the result of poor planning in the fiscal meteorology department at the pentagon. And neither are we entitled to having someone reimburse us for the rain.
Sometimes, it just rains. Things break. Prices go up. People get sick. Businesses scale down. It happens; and it is our responsibility to plan ahead for those unthinkable events. If we do not plan for those times-
It is our fault.
Hard decisions are required to plan for those times we hope never come. And we are not entitled to never needing to make a hard decision.
So lady, while your ad costs less than most, in at least one instance, your message did not pass the truth test. I know because I am certified in the scraping by, making hard decision departments. And that is my own fault.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes
I think that is a great song title, from a great songwriter. Jimmy Buffet has always been a favorite, although I couldn't admit it until later in life. What a shame...
The title is quite descriptive of my life at the moment. I am faced with opportunities to make some changes in my ministry assignment here in Tulsa. Changes in attitude and latitude are certainly required.
For several months, we have been discussing and planning beginning a satellite campus in the community in which my family and I live. The campus, called, The Springs, will meet in a school that my kids have attended. The prospects for a new church work in our community is almost endless- 18,000 people have no connection with a church of any kind. There has not been a new church in Sand Springs for almost 20 years. And it is obvious to us that God is leading us to do this. I have been, and still am, very excited about it! I have been allowed to help plan staffing, technology, administration, all the way from top to bottom. Only a few variables remain, one of them being....
The Springs needs a Campus Pastor.
As I said, I have been very excited about this work for a long time. If our plans continue to track the way they are now, in a few weeks, I will be named one of the Campus Pastors for The Springs. I will begin as Worship Leader, working to assure excellence in music, technology, video, and volunteer training. For the first three months, one of my favorite fellow staff members will serve as Launch Pastor, freeing me to handle the physical and practical aspects of a new church start. This will bring about quite significant change for me- not only in "attitude" but "lattitude" as well. I will keep many of my current responsibilities, and give up some of my current responsibilities (some I absolutely LOVE!), to be replaced with things I am called to do, and am excited about doing.
Some think I am crazy; some think I have lost my mind. Quite the contrary, I believe this is part of God's plan for me, and I have lost nothing. In fact, I am finding the whole prospect terrifyingly comforting. I encourage you to pray for me as I pull a Jimmy Buffet; keep the whole project on your hearts and on your list.
Life is indeed Good!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Rhythm of the Night
A bit past midnight in the middle of the workweek, and my mind cannot find that place of calm and quiet that allows my brain to signal my eyes that they are sleepy. I have worked in the kitchen, folded towels, contemplated changing my status in FaceBook a hundred times. I would vacuum, but that comes with its own set of family relationship issues...... since they are asleep....
The television is on, yet nothing of value is on the television. So I powered down the TV as well as the 921 channels designed for never-ending education and entertainment. What a waste...
That's when I really notice it.
A slight, gentle breeze is blowing through the windchimes on the back deck; very slight, but audible when I am quiet. The cicadas have a rhythm all their own; that odd clicking sound that was the basis of the alien communication in Signs is captivating, and more than slightly distracting.
I notice the crickets that make their homes beneath the redwood deck on our back patio as they call to one another. They have a very steady, irritating pattern of vibrations that make me want to rip my ears off; instead, I choose to remain silent and enjoy the concert.
The dogs in the neighborhood have a standing meeting every night about this time. A few neighborhood puppies gather at the house across the side street to convene a high-level political meeting with two neighbor dogs, held captive behind a beautiful fence. The dogs are either hard of hearing, or passionate about their politics; they are very loud. However, they have no stamina, and disband after just a few minutes.
Suddenly, the crickets stop singing. Just for a moment, the silence of the dark is a welcome change. Soon enough, however, they take up the unconscious and persistent chirping; designed into their DNA from the beginning of creation. Crickets doing what crickets do.
I hear my daughter as she breathes a gentle sigh in her sleep; the sigh of a little girl, content, deep in slumber.
In the quiet of this night, I can also clearly see and review conversations, meetings, email, tweets, and FaceBook postings of this day. Why did I say that? What does she mean when she said my FaceBook photo is not flattering? Why didn't I say that? Why do you think I owe you an explanation for our parking plan at our satellite church? On and on, I recall the people of the day; the joy of being with our fantastic praise team; profound sadness at the unexpected and unexplained loss of a friend.
Rather than asking again for the hundredth time, "Why?", I think I will invest in the quiet by "thanking God upon every remembrance of you"; by seeing your face in my mind and cherishing our relationship; by interrupting the quiet with whispered words of praise and thanksgiving to a Mighty God for blessings beyond imagination; words that confess my ineptitude and selfishness; quiet songs of worship.
I will join the rhythm of the night, adding my own sounds, as I think about you. About me. About God.
Just me doing what I do; worshipping the Beautiful Father. And soon enough, I'm sure my eyes will fall heavy with the need for sleep, and I will rest.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Good Stuff from my friend Marty Stubblefield
80/20 Rule “What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” – James 2:14-17 NIV I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. I’ve Tweeted on Twitter about it. Shared my frustration about it, even heard it mentioned in a Sunday Morning Small Group. It started one day at lunch when I stood in line at the local McFast Food restaurant and noticed that though my line was 6 or 7 people deep there was only one lady working the front counter. She feverishly worked the line as folks hemmed and hawed about what they wanted to order while other McDoodle employees were off to the side laughing and joking almost to the point of obnoxious. Now, I’m all abut having fun at work… but I’m even more about getting the job done… taking care of the customer… and meeting and exceeding the expectations of that customer. I guess it comes from my 22 years in the service industry. Now, as the 7th person back in the fast food line, I found myself getting more and more frustrated as I watched the one counter worker doing her best… saw the drive-thru girl hustling to get food out the window… and counted 8 in the laughing and joking not doing nothing… I even made eye contact with a number of the loafers, but still nothing. Finally, I ordered… got my drink cup… and waited on my food… and thanked the young lady for hustling like she was and wondered aloud about her lack of help (loud enough for someone to hear me I’m sure)…Her eyes rolled and a smile came upon her face when finally one of the 8 broke away from the pack to ask, “May I help the next guest” And the party on the food line slowly broke up… Some going back to the grill area… some to the lobby area… and I shook my head in disbelief as some went outside for a smoke break. The 80/20 Rule: Where 20% of the people do 80% of the work… and vice versa. We can see this played out live in my McFly experience… but we can also see it live and in person in most any local church where 80% of what needs to be done is done by 20% of the church… Over the past week I’ve tweeted and wondered aloud… where are the 80%? Not just at the fast food restaurant… but at the church as well. Now, let’s make one thing clear. Whether we choose to get involved or not… work in the church or not… volunteer for a project or not… play in the band or sing with the Praise Team or not…come to the service, sit on your hands and leave or not… in no way affects our salvation. Salvation is a free gift of grace from God. We can’t earn it… we can’t work to get it or more of it. It is what it is: God’s gift of His Son for us. That being said… Where are the 80%? Where are the others who can make the line go faster? Where are the Sunday School workers? Where are the Infant sitters? Where are the visitors of the sick? Where is the set up and tear down crew? Where is the car parking crew? Where are the prayer warriors? Where are the volunteers? It always seems to be the same 20 doing what would be so much easier, better, stronger, more effective, more efficient, more purposeful, more people reached for Christ if the other 80 volunteered their gifts and talents as well. Our expectation seems to be that we give the pastor our thoughts and ideas and expect him (or he and his team) to go do it. We expect to be entertained. We go to worship on Sunday and leave it behind until next Sunday. “But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder. You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless?” – James 2:18-20 NIV All I’m saying is this… It’s time to get out of the pew and do something… Do anything… Do something… Put your faith to work. See what needs to be done… and go do it. Keep the Faith… Carpe Diem
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Sunday, July 19, 2009
John
John was sitting on a bench, just outside the entrance to our church. He was crying; head held in both hands, shoulders slumped beneath the weight of the burdens he carried. John wore a long ponytail, solid black and flowing down his back. His high cheekbones, strong nose and dark red skin revealed his Native-American heritage. Full-blooded Kiowa, John's life was headed down a path familiar to those with money and too much time on their hands.
John is an addict.
The needle marks in his arms, the raw membranes inside his nostrils, and stubby, rotten teeth betrayed his years of drug use and abuse. John was running for his life. Actually, John was running toward life, and away from the life that had stolen his lucrative construction company, his friends, and his family.
John has had enough of that life. He boarded a bus in another city, and rode to Tulsa, where he has only 1 friend, and his friend is not a drug user. His friend is an alcoholic, and he offered John a case of beer and a place to stay.
After consuming 9 beers, John realized that this was not the path to the life he had envisioned for himself. He walked away from the home of his alcoholic friend, and walked back to the bus station, then across to our church.
John was sitting there for me to find. Tired from a long day, I thought I just could not deal with another drifter looking for cash for a bus ticket that would instead be used for his next fix. But John was different. John didn't want money; he wanted help.
John had lots of cash on him, so he didn't need money. John was one of the few who was genuine in his desire for rehabilitation. He seemed so, anyway; but then again, after 9 beers, who can really tell....
I called a friend who was still at church who leads our community ministries. And together, we spoke little, listened a lot, and helped John get to a place where he could find the healing and help he needs.
Tonight, John has a warm bed in a safe place, far removed from the drugs his body craves. Tomorrow morning, John will be introduced to a drug counselor, and to the first steps of the battle to reclaim the life he once knew. He will also be introduced to our Heavenly Father. And I pray that the Great Physician will heal John's body, his mind, and his spirit so that when John has completed rehab, not only will he be free of his personal demons, but spiritual demons as well.
John, I'm with ya, man.....
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The President's Teleprompter
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Sea of Galilee
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Death and Celebrity
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Lock Your Doors, but Open Your Hearts
Sunday, June 28, 2009
In Our Own Image
Based on historical research and study, Jesus was probably short in height, with thick, dark hair and a ruddy middle-eastern complexion.
For generations, we (in the West) have imagined Jesus as a tall Caucasian, with a strong Roman nose, high forehead, and flowing auburn locks.
Based on our lack of understanding of Jewish culture and history, it almost seems we have, in actuality, created a god in our own image.....
Just a thought...
Friday, June 26, 2009
It's Not Who You Know....
Sunday, June 21, 2009
What a Great Day!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Father's Day
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Shrinking the City?
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Sacrifice
Friday, June 12, 2009
Dangerous
I recently participated in a concert tour of the middle east. In a major newspaper in the capital city of Yerevan, Armenia, our group was called, "dangerous".
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Kyle Busch is a Jerk
OK. This is not the most Christ-like attitude, considering Jesus loves Kyle and died to cover his sin penalty. As a person of faith, I must try to see Kyle the way Jesus sees Kyle.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Children's Day Camp
Monday, June 8, 2009
You Never Know
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Regrets
From the time I was a young, optimistic teen, I have desperately tried to live my life so that as I faced the end of my earthly journey, I would have no regrets. Many times, that kind of determined, optimism is nearly impossible, resulting in just the opposite. Not accomplishing the goal of regretlessness may, indeed, lead to the biggest regrets of all.
Now that I am middle-aged, I have a much better perspective on my life, and I have more wisdom in planning and envisioning my life yet lived. And I begin to see regrets where I have never seen them before. I am experiencing that even today.
As a second-grade tow-head, I began to receive piano lessons. It was already obvious at that young age, that I would become neither scholar nor athlete. My determined mom wanted me to learn music. As a matter of fact, she was desperate for her children to learn to play piano. No matter what happened in life, music could be a constant, permanent companion. That, and the fact that she never had piano lessons fueled her desire for her kids to learn to play. And so we did, even against our wishes. I spent many hours on the piano bench with my mom. Not with mom in the next room, nor even in the same room but another chair, but on the bench with me; a timer in one hand, a ruler in the other. The timer was so I would know when I had served my daily 30-minute sentence; you know what the ruler was for. I often saw lessons as punishment; in my mom's perspective, they were an investment.
Actually, I never really liked playing the piano. It was ok, but I could take it or leave it. Played some in high school in a rock band, but soon discovered there aren't many rock-and-roll pianists out there. I played some in college, even making piano performance my major for a semester. But I soon discovered how much easier it was to control one voice than eight fingers, two thumbs, two feet, and still turn the pages of my music. So I switched to vocal performance, and pretty much forgot about it.
About 6 or 7 years ago, it hit me.
I really fell in love with playing again. Serving as a Minister of Music in churches all my life, I have been around pianos, and worked with them every week. But again, my enthusiasm was underwhelming. And I can't really say what lit my fire for playing again; maybe I just woke up, or something inside my heart finally communicated with my head that playing was important to me. And I have enjoyed- no, been overjoyed- to have been able to play every week for the church I now serve. I love it!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Mission Trip to Armenia and Israel
Our director, Dr. Bill Green, has led concert tours all over the world, including Russia, Australia, and China. He is no stranger to international travel and works extensively with a fantastic travel company that makes our travel easy.
I will confess that I had many conflicting emotions prior to this trip; my family had several important events ahead, including an outpatient surgery for Jane, several college visits and forms for Andrew, all to be done while I was away. And you know, 6000 miles is a long, long way from home. Jane's parents are older, and anything could happen to them.... and on and on. I thought of hundreds of reasons why I should not go; however, in the end, my commitment to the group and commitment to taking advantage of every opportunity for ministry the Lord provided outweighed my fear, and I signed on.
We worked for a year, learning songs in Armenian for use at their largest national celebration. We saved our pennies and asked our churches for funding for the trip. $4400 was the cost, not including extra spending money for snacks and souvenirs. We worked with a local pastor (we'll call him Moe) and a local humanitarian aid worker (we'll call her June) to assist us in language interpretation, concert opportunities, and general history and geography. We really became close to these two servants, and would come to respect their work even more as our time there progressed.
Our goals were simple; to share Christ through music; to show our support of the Armenian people in their memorial day celebration; and to support the evangelical churches in Armenia in their ministries. We could not have been prepared for the joys nor the challenges and frustrations of this project. We have all been welcomed everywhere in the world we have performed. We were not prepared for the rejection and the negative press we would receive. But more on that soon.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Back on Board
I have just returned from a two-week concert tour of Armenia and Israel. Stay tuned, fans, for a day-by-day description of my activities, feelings, and thoughts are soon to be posted.
I'm glad I remembered my login...
Blessings, friends, for
LIFE IS GOOD!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The Crisis of Credit
The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I Passed!
On our way home from yet another fabulous basketball practice for my daughter's team, my sweet wife asked me if "Andrew has told me his news...".
(At that very moment, my panic response kicked in. It is a predictable response in me. It is that natural assumption, that conclusion jump that tells me my kids have done something horrible, or that they have done something not-so-horrible, but enough of something to embarass me.)
"What kind of news?" I asked. My sweet wife responded by saying that he would have to tell me on his own.
OK, so for the next hour, the back of my mind was filled with the most awful and terrible things that my son could have been involved with.... so fragile was my emotional state that I never noticed the calm and stable behaviour of my sweet wife.
Clue overlooked.
Finally at home, during a commercial in Wreckreation Nation, the Sweet One asked the Number One Son if he had told me his news....
He stood up and while he mumbled something about losing a bet, he brushed his beautiful long brown locks from around his red right ear to reveal...
Yep. An ear stud in the top of his ear.
Like taking a punch in the gut, I inhaled a quick breath, and while the blood drained from my head and my vision faded, I had to think quickly. How would I respond in such a way that would let him know of my eternal love for him, despite the unnatural piece of shiny shrapnel intentionally lodged in his ear that surely indicates that somewhere along the parenting line, something went horribly wrong?
In my eloquence, all I could say was. "boy, cover it back up."
That's it. I couldn't get angry, 'cause I love him too much. I couldn't scream, because Madilyn was sitting in my lap. And I didn't notice the Sweet One, again, cracking a huge grin over to my left....
Clue overlooked.
When I could breathe again, I said, "Andrew, you're 18 years old; you can do whatever you want with your ears, but I wouldn't hire you with that in there." (I thought that was notably eloquent, and particularly, wise.)
Andrew walked over to me, then said "Then I guess I should take it out." And he removed that silly plastic fake earstud and tossed in on the table. And he laughed a huge, beautiful, laugh, accompanied by the sweet, musical laughter of my wife and daughter. As the blood rushed back into my head, I realized I had been tested- even as a joke- and had passed. I found a way to squelch my usual judgmental and angry response, and, for the most part, remained calm. I passed!
My beautiful family laughed a lot about that ear stud.
I, too, will laugh someday, I'm sure...
Life is good!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Making an "all" of myself
In some on-line correspondences, I am forced to admit that my readers need translators to decipher what I write. Of course, I know what I intended to write; it should be obvious to everyone else what I wanted to say. Not so.
A perfect example occurred this morning. Stressful as Mondays go, with a meeting, a funeral, reports due, and two chapters of a book report due.... before 11:00 am. I found myself hurrying through the details of it all, not really excelling at anything.
Especially writing my reports.
Now, you have to understand that as I get older, and type faster, sometimes my brain outruns my fingers, sometimes resulting in some, well, odd words. I also get dyslexia digitalis, a condition in which the correct finger but on the wrong hand will push the keys to spell words. Usually this is quickly caught, either by my powerful skills of perception and observation, or by my spellchecker.
However, when you type the word "all" and encounter a sudden onset of dyslexia digitalis, it comes out as "ass".
Now this is where all my churchy friends get embarassed and aghast that I would reprint such a word here. Two things:
1) Balaam (in the Bible) had one, and
2) I tried 6 times to tell this story without using it, but it didn't make sense. Get over it.
Anyhow, when you spellcheck that, it obviously sails through without a problem. The problem arises when I submitted that mistake on a report- to my pastor- well, let's just say that I won't hear the end of that one for a long, long time.
It was even funny when pointed out to me in private- Pastor and I had a good laugh! When addressed before the entire ministerial staff- not so much. To the lady in my article, of whom I attempted to describe "her desire to give it her all", it was not funny. Not at all....